Sharing is challenging for kids, especially young kids. This happens frequently during the development process. The first step in educating your kid to share is realising and accepting this. Here’s a summary of what’s happening within that jealous little head.
Before sharing, comes selfishness
Possession is a natural aspect of a child’s developing awareness. As the kid transitions from unity to uniqueness in the years 2 and 3, they strive to forge an identity apart from their mother. The tabloid for toddlers screams in its headlines, “I do it myself!” and “my!” In actuality, “my” is among the first words that a toddler will utter.
The developing youngster forms bonds to both people and things. A person’s capacity for strong attachments is crucial to their emotional well-being. One-year-olds have trouble sharing their mothers, while two-year-olds struggle to share their teddies. Some kids grow so emotionally invested in a toy that the worn-out doll practically becomes a part of them. Sharing those toys makes them feel insecure and unsafe as if they’re lending a part of themselves to someone else.
When to expect a child to share
Empathy, the capacity to enter another person’s head and consider things from their perspective, is necessary for true sharing. Under the age of six, children are rarely capable of profound empathy. They share before that because you’ve trained them to. Expect a child under the age of two or two and a half to struggle with sharing. Children under the age of two prefer to play in parallel with other kids rather than directly with them. They just think about what is best for themselves and their things, not what the other youngster might want or feel. However, with instruction and kindness, a selfish two-year-old can develop into a kind three or four-year-old. Children learn the concept of sharing as they interact with one another and work together during play.
Children raised by attachment parents may be more understanding of other people’s needs and more inclined to share, or they might be more conscious of their personal need to maintain their sense of themselves by withholding things from others. It’s simpler to share with someone who is less intimidating or powerful than you (i.e., someone younger), such as a visitor instead of a sibling or a quiet child instead of a demanding one. The temperament of your child is very important. Consider your child’s signals to determine when he is prepared to share.
Expect selective sharing even when the child is four or five years old. A young youngster might keep a few priceless items exclusively for himself. No more than you would give your wedding band or the sentimental scarf your mother gave you, the youngster is not likely to give her beloved teddy or torn blanket. Respect and safeguard your child’s right to own property. Kids are aware of other kids.
Don’t force a child to share
Instead, foster a culture and environment where sharing is valued and encouraged. Possession confers power. They are merely toys to you. They are a priceless, valued collection that a child has spent years building. Respect children’s natural possessiveness while promoting and demonstrating sharing. Then, pay attention to how your child behaves in a group play situation; you’ll discover a lot about him and what sort of guidance he requires.
Your youngster will discover that other children are reluctant to play with them if they are always the one to grab. If he consistently falls prey, he needs to understand the value of saying “no.” Your kid typically goes through a “what’s in it for me” stage in the primary grades, which develops into a more environmentally conscious “what’s in it for us” stage. Children gradually come to understand that sharing makes life easier with a little assistance from their parents.
Get connected
A youngster reciprocates by giving. Due to two factors, we have shown that kids who had attachment parenting in their first 2 years are much more likely to grow up to be sharing kids. Children that have experienced generosity follow the example set for them and develop into kind individuals. Additionally, a happy child is more willing to share. A youngster who has been raised with attachment seems to be more likely to develop a positive self-image. He doesn’t require as many items to affirm his value. We observed that the children in our clinic who had experienced attachment parenting need less attachment items. Instead of clinging to a blanket, they are now more likely to grab for their mother’s hand.
Plan ahead
Ask the playmate’s parent to send toys if your child has problems sharing his toys and the playmate is coming over. Toys that are unfamiliar to children are enticing. Your child will quickly learn that sharing his toys with his playmates is necessary in order to access theirs. Or, bring toys if you’re taking your sharing kid to a non-sharing child’s house. Some young kids already have a feeling of justice and fairness. Because “he didn’t share,” one of our kids didn’t want to go back to a friend’s house. By complimenting him, we turned this into a teaching opportunity: “Aren’t you pleased you just want to share? Kids must enjoy visiting your home, I bet.
As an institution that focuses on helping students evolve as their best selves, we, at MS Dhoni Global School, take numerous calculated and spontaneous measures to help incorporate certain soft skills in our students through day-to-day activities.